


ghost in the present

by orphan_account



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Feels, Character Study, Other, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, and i used the concept of kylo having a prothestic arm, ben lives in coruscant, but rian johnson kinda ruined him, i dont know if armitage is hux's first name, i kinda like kylo ren's character, i've put a little of duel of the fates' plot in there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:20:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23369107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Kylo Ren resigned his title of commander before turning the Supreme Leader of First Order, and Armitage Hux makes sure to let him know where Ben Solo belongs to.
Relationships: Armitage Hux & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren





	ghost in the present

**Author's Note:**

> SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THERES A LOT TO EXPLAIN THAT I NEED TO SAY SO HERE WE GO
> 
> firstly, this plot was on my mind since the year begun and i tried to work on it - even if its a oneshot - because it seemed s'good even if im lacking on details about star wars and such. im kinda disconnected from the sw universe so i just tried it and i kinda liked the result??? it feels really good and refreshing to be there, so ill kindly try my best to keep up with the writing. 
> 
> second is that im apologizing for the bad grammar and verbs. im tired (really) and my english is not the best. sorry about that.
> 
> third is......... STAY AT HOME PLEASE, lately things are odd and sad but i hope things will get better not only for me, but for you and anyone else that is reading this. we'll be okay

His whole body was in fever. 

That man woke up in the middle of the night with a sting in his arm, aching as if there was lava inside every wire that compound its system. He opened his eyes, but didn’t move an inch more than his trembled fingers. 

His air was compressed in his lungs and he didn’t move, even if he was able to take medicaments or any method to deal with this pain. That man — he had a name, unsure of his belonging inside their origins — were stuck in his own flesh meat, his words suffocated as if they pressed a thousand of hands on his throat. His dark hair was messy, and some of it were glued with sweat on his pale skin. That man didn’t urged to do anything towards the ongoing stings in his arm but abruptly withdraw it along with unpleasant memories from a not-so distant past. Somehow, he managed to deal with the consequences of his pain in other people’s lives that never had something to do with his; yet, not the consequences of his hurt on his body.

His eyelids were hardly closed against each other, desiring that this pain would go away as fast as it could, but nothing did made it stop.

_Except…_

A hand rested over his head and stood there. He was surprised; his eyes opened quickly as he felt a warmth and could guess its intentions. It was peaceful. Quite like — his vision was blurred, but slowly it began to be clearer — the city of the ever alive Coruscant. The sophisticated place that never fell apart no matter its politics and kept its appearance, wonderful as ever, over the face of fascism. When that man touched the hand above him, it was like lightning in the midst of clouds that later would vanish as if nothing happened. He mostly treated his crisis in this way and probably would do it again. 

Her hand faded. He blinked and kept his stare at the nowhere. 

  
  


Ben — as a neighbour kid called him — felt a little flattered with the smile of an old woman when he helped her. He just raised his arm so she could grip it to be safe, but for her, it was a kindly act for “men like him”. Ben just smiled back thinking that she might know him, but if she truly knew him, she wouldn’t even get close. 

In between daily self-depreciative thoughts, surprisingly, Ben found himself appreciating the feeling of someone smiling at him. He admits how badly he missed it to the point of forgetting how it feels after too long; but he appreciates it. Even more what he did in response and how genuine it was — better when it was one of the few genuinely good things he did since Snoke’s incident. 

If Hux was there he surely would correct him to _attempt of betrayal_ , but it was Ben’s opinions blurring what Hux truly thought: _a betrayal_ . That was something that roamed his mind the first day he landed in Coruscant. _What good things would come from someone that willingly turned its back both from his family and the placed he served for years?_ , he would ask himself when he get home and look at his own reflection; instead, going to his work, he answered: _Help an elderly woman_ , and smiled a little before stepping on his workplace. 

  
  


Ben didn’t want someone from the First Order to secretly cover up his expenses while he lived on Coruscant, neither became a bounty hunter — although he’s skilled enough to join the Guild and stay in there for a considerable amount of time during these years. He wanted to be on his own. He despised the idea of being on terms with the First Order again; even more being know as Han Solo’s fascist and genocide son inside the Guild. 

_Not that’s a lie_ , Ben thought as he fixed someone else’s pod’s engine, _but this is worse than I thought it was_. He doesn’t think about his life while working as a mechanic (thanks to his childhood curiosity of flying in space and the sleepless nights spent in watching the production of TIE Fighters) and surely wouldn’t think about it now. He has a lot of time in hands and was aware enough of his mistakes, so later it would happen. 

Every time he dealt with the phantom pain in his right arm he thought about the crimes he’s done. Not really the best way for doing this, but it was impossible to not relate it with how he lost his arm in a battle and how warlords considered him someone honorable. Kylo Ren might be what they believe, but Ben Solo actually wasn’t none of this. 

In the same mornings that preceded fever nights, Ben tried to see where and what was the line discerning him and Kylo. 

He always failed to achieve a conclusion that doesn’t erase his acts. 

The sun was setting down when he finished his shift. 

It was the solemn moment in which he could stare up at the sky and let himself be lost. A shade of shame painted his hands and made it impossible to reach any goodness that carried on his family’s legacy without smudge it. Not everyone is defined by their last name, for sure, but being incapable to see his own identity and existence in the first place caused him to feel like a ghost wearing someone else’s name. 

Ben, surely he was thinking about his life again, would’ve been someone good. But how so if he decided to destroy it? He faced multiple opportunities as time passed by, discovering new people and perspectives that could’ve changed his mind. He had it right in front of him when his father was willing to help in the same way people had done as he remembers. He could’ve stopped the First Order from destroying the main Resistance ship, the same as his mother was, but instead he let them do the work that he was meant to. Ben would never be the someone good if he rightly away discarded the good inside him in the first opportunity he got. He — disregarding the subtle line Ben seeks — consciously did things that he’s very ashamed of now, but he doesn’t know if somehow he would stop being ashamed of such; and even fears that he could do it again. 

He could. He has the power to do it. 

But he wouldn’t. 

Bright spots shined little in the clean sky, a few lines with moving dots crossed the calm tone of blue that darkened as the sun went away. 

Suddenly, quite like a breeze, the scent of forest and a warm sensation took place in his episode of self-pity, a thing that doesn’t happen often. Ben slowly breathed in and out, turning in his back only to see a vast immensity of trees and green that doesn’t belong to the city. Right in front of him, turning his face slowly as if atmosphere was dense, was Rey. 

She looked more mature as Ben remember. More fierceful and confident. She was meditating in the air, legs crossed, exuding peace as her eyes were closed in a quiet moment with herself. 

It was unfair to Ben to interrupt her process of seeking balance in times of war. She might’ve been working hard and learning fast, growing on her own, and Ben admired her effort in developing her abilities in the force. He stared silently at her with amaze, with grass and dirt on the palm of his hands and the feeling of safety in there, closing his eyes and smelling the moist air as if some rain passed just to water the plants. 

In the next moment that he opened his eyes, he was back in Coruscant again. There was no expectations in seeing her by his side, all of them proving to exist as he saw Rey and his heart sink in his chest. 

She kept her face and her eyes closed in some kind of inertia, but she was sitting in the same position nearby him on the roof. It seemed that she was looking at the sky with amaze, because she had a little smile curving her lips as if there was something good to look up to. Maybe it was her uncertain future shining with optimism, or even the fascination of roaming the whole galaxy that every kid dream of. Ben once had the same thing, except that he grow up and found out that the same galaxy isn’t the wonder of heroes, myths and other cultures; and in every fairytale told there’s cruelty that’s left unsaid. 

And Ben, in the pinnacle of his decency, admits to be a part of the said cruelty. 

His silence felt loud enough to Rey’s ears. Ben no longer stared at the sky, only at his feet, face red in guilt. She always appeared for some uncertain reason and he couldn’t pinpoint why — but there was a coincidence about her showing up when things get like these. When, and he didn’t know why, he thought about a undeserved redemption. Maybe he was a little faithful about it. Maybe _she_ was, and that’s why she appears by some kind of coincidence caused by the Force. _But what if she helped him?_ The question popped up and the answer was clear: _No!_ , because he hurt her way much to be covered by any kind of superficial redemption; and it wasn’t only her, it was her friend, her friends, her found family. 

It was a difficult matter and he wanted, for now, to be alone, even if he enjoyed her presence only as someone he cared a bit. He pressed his eyelids against each other and made effort… The same kind of effort that’s made when things need to let go. 

He heard her deep breath. Then, an awful, unwelcomed silence overtook the place. Ben was alone again and all he could see was the ground when he opened his eyes again. He looked at his side, knowing she was gone, and accepted that it was the best thing he could’ve done. 

When he stood up, there was a few stormtroopers walking in the streets. 

  
  


Something bad was going to happen. 

Normally he could take this impression as long as he could or even go along with it, but this one felt different — like a sharp needle in a healed wound, ready to open it again as if it was a box full of jewels —, it felt dangerous. The air thickened and his heart beated faster than it normally would when he was anxious, and it was almost palpable to sense it coming. 

Ben walked to his door and stopped with the ongoing awful silence around him. It was fully night as he decided whether he should stay in or roam the whole city and return when things feel safe. He would definitely choose the second option, but there was one belonging in this place that he didn’t want to left behind. Not in the hands of the First Order. Not in Hux’s hands. 

The door opened. Quickly, in a matter of seconds, Ben felt his safety threatened. 

Not that he wasn’t strong enough to deal with this kind of situation — because _he was_ —, but he didn’t know how to get in control over his actions. Especially when there was nothing to see because of the gloom in the room. However, there’s a sign of someone in there, a personality whose presence felt bigger with time and now it was scandalous to even get nearby. 

The door closened and two stormtroopers, each on his sides, pointed their blasters at him. 

“Of all the places you should have been gone, you choose Coruscant?” The ginger’s voice became audible. Ben tried to search where his voice came from, following the bright stripes in the floor until reaching his figure sitting on the couch as if he made himself home immediately. “I genuinely wonder why you made such foolish decision, Kylo.”

Ben flinched. 

“I don’t owe you any explanation.”

“You don’t need to,” he said, not moving an inch. “I could figure it out by myself, but sadly, I’m busy enough.” 

“If so, then why you came here?” Ben asked, anger building up slowly in his fauces and trying not let it spill. “I’m not useful for them. I’m not up for their needs.” 

“Surely you aren’t anymore,” Hux remarks and Ben felt a little of his pride attacked. “Yet, it’s a funny coincidence to see you, the man that swore loyalty to the First Order and betrayed us in a heartbeat, right on the place where we would establish our supremacy.” 

Ben’s eyes widened. That wasn’t on their plans as long as he knew, but he left in the pinnacle of the war. They might have changed their whole strategy, even if the strength and intelligence they had was in Snoke’s competency. Snoke was the seed of it and somehow his death would disrupt the organization. Or at least that’s what he thought after killing him. 

“I don’t have any purpose in cutting off your goals in Coruscant, if that’s your concern and reason to visit me,” he honestly says. “You can leave now, Hux.” 

He doesn’t leaves. Ben thinks of forcely kick him out, but that would create more problems to him. Instead, he just stays there, still. Every movement he does should be calculated or there’ll be consequences, and Ben wants to avoid any sort of conflict in this city. 

Meanwhile, Hux crosses his leg and rests one hand above his lap. The other one grips something Ben can’t see; yet, it seemed clear to him that he was uneasy as if he deals with an animal. If Ben were one he’d sure would bite his neck until breaking it. 

“Why are you rushing me out?” Hux provoked. “Feeling bothered with something?”

The answer is _yes_ when Ben realizes that Hux points a blaster in his direction. He’s ready to attack or defend himself, in both ways showing no signs of fear; instead, he appears to be nervous to tell him something that might be important. Ben, or Kylo, lived long enough with Hux to know that he’s having an interesting time by dealing with him. Ben could see that Hux will try to take advantage over him at some point of this conversation and any reaction he emits might cause a chain of reactions, and Ben didn’t know if it was positive or negative. 

However, Kylo was an expertise in body language. And so Ben Solo was. 

“You already know the answer.” 

“I’m not your enemy now, Kylo.” 

The whole speech was quite like a bait drowning in a lagoon; the chain was just a fine line ready to pull the bait along with a really hungry fish. 

“Who is, then?” 

Hux got up and kept his grip on the blaster. 

“You can choose: someone from the First Order that’s ready to hunt you down with the same circumstances as mine or a rebel that won’t hesitate if you’re right in front of them. Even though I can admit that the first one is way more dangerous than that girl from the Resistance…”

Ben catches his intentions quicker than he expected. Pretty sure because of how long he was absent and how distant he was from Hux, clearing his mind from their shared idealism; or because Ben wasn’t Kylo anymore, and Kylo surely would be blind with his faith and let himself be under Hux’s control if it benefited his greed. By the whole discourse, Ben could see a glimpse of what happened inside the organization. He would guess that, based on Hux’s words, the First Order was shattered in pieces and each of them didn’t consent with the other. They were dealing with a deep internal conflict of ideas and none of them matched quite perfectly to turn itself the next step in this game. Of course, after that day — the shameful day that Kylo killed Snoke and wanted to leave with the girl from the Resistance — the First Order was in advantage, but didn’t use it at their favor. Ben sensed despair in Hux’s behavior and could relate it to that episode, most probably that Hux choose his side and he was losing, so he needed something that would allow him to be over them. 

Ben might be wrong, but connecting the dots after what he learned while he was a commander wasn’t that hard. 

“You’re that desperate that you want me to be your bodyguard?” He mockingly asked. “And to think that I was the one with the prize on my head.” 

Hux angrily locked his jaw, his pride hurt and so was the anger rising over his serious posture. Ben smiled as he took control of the situation. 

“I could kill you right now,” he snarled.

“Go ahead, you will be the one alone in this move. Nobody will guarantee that you’re gonna succeed in this pathetic little war _I_ provoked.” Then, Ben grins. “I never thought i would be able to do this, but I guess I did it. You’re gonna kill yourselves before even decimate the Resistance. All of you are foolish enough to believe that you’ll end up winning this war, but guess what? None of you will be alive to see the fall of the First Order.” 

“Neither you,” Hux tried, his finger on the trigger. 

“And that will be a pleasure,” Ben defied. 

Hux gestured with his fingers down and the stormtroopers aimed at Ben. Without hesitate they fired, but the shot didn’t reach that man — his hand stood in the air and it stopped right on time before hitting him. 

Hux’s first instinct was to shoot at him exactly on the chest and so he did it, but Ben saw it coming and quickly slapped hard his hand in order to avoid the imminent attack. In response, Hux expected to react quicker such as Ben, but something — maybe the adrenaline blurring his mind — slowed him down as his body was heavier. Meanwhile, Ben took advantage of this moment and tried to disarm him; however, as much as Hux’s body was slow, it was rigid and so was his grip. Ben would try as much as he could to take the blaster from his hands yet he would end up failing, distracting him to the point the shots from the stormtroopers returned to its roots. Ben’s heart raced as he protected himself using the gingerman’s body as a shield (missing it), the other fire hitting the wall and letting a loud noise echoes throughout the place. 

“Don’t shoot!” Hux yelled, dismissing the remaining elegance that he carried until there, and the stormtroopers obeyed. 

In a fast movement, Ben accidentally twisted Hux’s wrist and the blaster fell from his hand to the ground. He quickly advanced and wrapped his arm around the ginger’s neck, raising his free arm and pulling the weapon from the ground. Such as the stormtroopers, he didn’t hesitate to cold blood shoot them. Under his body, Hux shivered hearing the sound of his weapon twice, knowing that he might be the third and last shot. 

Ben was ready to give him his last vow when Hux sighs. 

“What would you do if they caught your mother?” 

His air compressed and his throat closed as if someone were choking him. He felt paralyzed, stuck inside the memory of the last moment he had with his mother. He could feel her feelings towards the danger provoked by her own son. Ben could almost taste what would be the sickness of being defeated by what she fought against in great part of her life and even after where she thought she found peace, by the hands of someone she dearly loved the most. Ben could think of it, but he would never know how it feels on his own skin. 

Hux bit part of his bare skin and snapped Ben out of his mind, escaping. He quickly took the blaster out of his hand and pointed at him. Instead of just shooting, Hux wanted to see his face once more and test him. The gingerman wanted to humiliate him just a little after what he heard of him; he wanted to be on top of him. 

“What would you do if the ones that you love were caught?” He kept going. “If, someday, you’d hear in a lovely morning that the Resistance is over?” 

Kylo Ren would be satisfied. Ben Solo would be devastated. In both ways there would be a cry of lamentation and the death of his hopes, the little ones that remains and keep bothering him, making him believe that this would be finally over. Ben doesn’t care much about the Resistance, but he doesn’t get along with the idea of the First Order’s supremacy. He prefers a galaxy that’s not ruled by cruel governors just as Hux. 

“You would be the first to be taken down.”

The said so grinned. Meanwhile, Ben’s left arm burned and bleeded, and he still was a little paralyzed by the pain; but that only fueled his anger towards the gingerman. Something Kylo was great at it was turning pain into hatred, but mostly, strength. 

“Try it. Do it. Get rid of me and you’ll get a whole army after you. Hundreds. Millions. Warlords from every place from the galaxy hunting you down or eager to have you by their side. As I said earlier, it’s your choice. Think wisely.” 

The silence that went and passed by let Ben think not only as a war criminal, but as a commander and a strategist as he often tried to be. And he was right. Killing Snoke and letting the First Order shatter was the best and worst thing he could’ve done, and mostly, he didn’t think straight, but did what his intuition asked for. Right now, Hux knows of his existence and where he lives. Probably he would pursue Ben whenever he is and would run to. There was nothing he could do anymore and nowhere to run, because sooner or later what Hux said might turn reality. 

The saddest part of it all is that his arm aches. And he doesn’t wanna be a part of this, but he forcely will be again even if it’s him on his own. Yet, being on his own was something that Ben Solo definitely had the strength to do. Everyone have their secret weapon, and so he has. 

“There’s another option I can choose?” Ben asked. 

“You can join me,” he answered calmly. “I can provide everything you need.” 

“Can I just be there on my own?” Ben’s sincerity bothered Hux, and he could feel it by the way he sighed. “I don’t want to be a part of this anymore.”

“Stop wasting your potential being a stupid mechanic in this town, Kylo,” Hux harshly said, losing even more his composure. “There is a enormous war happening right now and you’re the most important piece, then stop rotting in your bed, whining like a children as if you weren’t a genocide doing rampages years ago. Your participation in this war isn’t over no matter what name you decides to call yourself on; you’re still Kylo Ren, the Supreme Leader Kylo Ren—” 

“I refuse to be called this way.” 

Hux just simply sighes and punches him in the face. Now, not only his arm aches but his face is burning by the punch and the humiliation. It was disgusting to be at this baseline being only seen as a little dog that has to accept orders. Hux wasn’t his owner, Hux was _nothing_ but a smart leader and a miserable. 

His right hand gripped on something that surpassed over the broken wall. Ben could see the blue in Hux’s eyes through the bright lines of the window. They were increased with impatience and despair as if something were running from his hands and he couldn’t get it again, as if his plan was failing. Hux was helpless. 

“I won’t accept any kind of negative answer anymore, Ben,” he threatened. “I’m giving you a chance to fix the mistake that you’ve been done with the First Order by restoring it with me.”

Ben didn’t answer. Then, Hux pointed the blaster at him, firmly. 

“Say it, Kylo.” 

Suddenly, the walls and its decoration shined with a red tone that was clearer than the light outside, and Hux felt terrified for a moment, thinking about how much of a mistake it was to visit him. There was a warm air surrounding them now. Hux finally could see Ben’s face — the same expression he saw in Kylo Ren — and admitted that it wasn’t quite a mistake he committed. Like seeing a old friend that wasn’t seen in ages, that one he didn’t grew affection, but was truly envious of. It was this look that he looked forward to. It felt like a goal achieved. 

The tip of the lightsaber was under Hux’s chin; the tip of the blaster was pointed at Ben’s face. 

“I see that you’re still there, Kylo,” the gingerman said. “Tell me.” 

“ _No_ ,” he answered. Hux wanted to pull, but his neck burned. “I want you to leave my house _now_.” 

“Or what?” 

“Or you’ll be the shame of the First Order when I put your corpse at exposure in one of the bases, showing how unqualified and helpless you were, trying to overcome me as I was someone you could control. You’re nothing, Hux, and you’ll die being nothing but a failure. Don’t make me cut your throat and I’ll let you get out alive today. It’s a deal.” 

Ben could sense his anger. They could be distant, but they stayed in similar baselines, a game of mutualism that would end up in the same way. But this — Ben made it worse for Hux. He punctured his pride and let him fall in the pit of helplessness, letting him know that he wasn’t just his expectations. He could be worse. He could be like Kylo, but better. It was a matter of choices, and he already choose the right one. 

Hux bit his lip and lowered his arm. Ben just turned off his lightsaber, and then everything became dark again. 

“Well, good luck trying to restore it by yourself. You’re gonna get a lot of work to do, starting now,” Ben mockered. 

The gingerman stayed because of his sore throat. He placed a hand in there and just stepped back, not looking at him. Not on his eyes. 

“I’ll let them know that you’re alive, Kylo.”

“No,” Ben said. “Tell them that Kylo Ren, meant-to-be Supreme Leader of the First Order, is dead. They’ll trust you more if they know that he’s deceased in an unknown desert, not living as a mechanic in Coruscant.” 

Being a liar was the worst thing someone could be know as in that organization, Hux knew that. He just sighed, lost. 

When the door closed and the last view of Ben that Hux could see was just a silhouette in the darkness, easy to mistake, Ben Solo felt as if he lost a weigh over his shoulders and gained more. A stream of shock roamed on his left and bruised arm, while the right, prosthetic one, regain its phantom pain. Every time that he wield that lightsaber, since his old master’s disappearance, his arm burned like a curse. 

But, right now, he couldn’t let go of it. Not now. Not in the face of imminent danger. 

_Would people believe that Kylo Ren was dead?_ Maybe. That man believed. _Deceased just as Ben Solo was, his corpse on the floor of some man’s house in Coruscant._

And that man would keep living as a ghost as long as he could. 

**Author's Note:**

> no, rey and ben's relationship in there isn't romantic, ben just thinks of her as a little long lost sister he never had
> 
> thank u for reading <3


End file.
